Stormy Weather
by idris02
Summary: Set shortly after 8x17. Cristina needs someone but everyone is busy, everyone but Jackson. What will happen when old feelings rise and new feelings are made. After a painful life with Owen, Cristina deserves better. Will Jackson be better?
1. Chapter 1

This is a scene that takes place in April, Jackson and Alex's apartment where they move in together after they move out of Meredith's, this is set just after 8x17

I hope you enjoy(: Let me know what you think(:

This is written from Jackson Avery's point of view(:

The day was finally over. The sky was dark, as it was almost all day this time of year, and it was cold outside, freezing actually but not in here. The fire was going as I sat on the couch with the curtains drawn to a close, my feet up on the coffee table, a beer sitting next to my feet, without a coaster and a bag of chips on my left. April was at the hospital, which I meant I could do whatever. Alex was also there, they both had the night shift, but he wouldn't care about what I was doing, he does it all the time.

That was the only issue with moving in with April and Alex, they were opposites when it came to housework. She would do almost everything and fuss and he would do as little as possible. I moaned to Alex about it but I happily did the chores, but as it was just after work, I just wanted to relax.

The game finished so I leant forward grabbed the remote and switched over to another channel, ads. Checking the next channel I found ads, then a reality show, then ads yet again, and then finally a movie. Clicking the description, I got halfway through reading it when the door knocked. "Coming." I yelled as I switched off the tv and placed my feet on the ground. Grabbing the empty bag of chips off the couch and my empty beer bottle, I ran to the bin, dusted myself off and surveyed the apartment while I walked to the door. Nothing seemed out of order.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open to discover a snivelling Cristina in my hallway.

Looking up at me briefly for a moment, she asked quietly, "Is Alex here?"

"Uh no, he's at the hospital, nightshift." I replied looking her up and down trying to figure out was wrong. Her face didn't yet look blotching from crying but by the expression displayed on her face she was only a few hours away from that. Her hair was quickly done up in a bun, as usual and bits were sprawling out of it and hanging down her face. She wore a thick coat with the collar up and a white scarf protruding out of the mouth of her coat. She was wearing dark jeans and high boots and had her brown leather bag hung across her shoulder. For the first time since I had meet her she didn't seem invincible.

"Oh ok, sorry to bother you." She mumbled and turned away walking towards the stairs.

Facing the inside of my apartment it took me only seconds to reconsider going inside and ignoring the state that she was in, taking a step into the hall I called after her, "Cristina. Come on in."

Swivelling round to face me a small smile appeared on her mouth as she walked towards me. Shutting the door behind both of us, I locked it. Turning to face her, I watched her scan the room. I saw her assess all that she saw, her eyes touching everything.

"Nice place." She said, her tone normalising. She turned her head towards the window then towards the fireplace lit in the corner then at the blank tv a few metres beside it and spoke again, "No coaster Jackson, April won't be pleased." She gave me a false disapproving look.

Ignoring her last comment and replied, "It's nice and warm in here. Let me take your coat."

Shrugging it off her shoulders, she handed it to me. It was soaked through. I dragged a chair in front of the fire and draped her coat over, so that it would dry. Glancing back at her I now noticed what I didn't notice at the doorway. She was shivering. Her hair was also wet and her jeans looked damp from here. Not only was she obviously upset but also she must be freezing.

"Ok you need to take your clothes off." I said without thinking.

A look of disbelief crossed her face, "I…" she started before I quickly intervened.

"You are completely sodden, you need to get take off your clothes, get in the shower and put some dry clothes on."

Her face relaxed a little and she nodded. Leaning down she took off her shoes and walked over to place them by the fire.

"Lead on." She said as she looked at me expectantly.

I strode across the living room/dining room/almost kitchen area towards the bathroom. Reaching the bathroom, I switched the lights and heater on. Leaning into the shower and turning it on I said, "You can change the temperature once you get in there, the bathroom door locks. Towels are on the rack here," pointing towards the towels I continued, "Use this towel because that one is Alex's so odds on it won't have been washed recently and the one next to that is April's, who will freak if you use it."

Nodding slowly, Cristina scanned the bathroom quickly.

"When you're done you can rummage through April's closet and grab something to wear. Her room is right there," I said as I pointed towards her room. "Anything else?"

"Uh nope. Sounds swell to me." Cristina said as she took a step towards the door.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked as I stepped into the hallway.

"Well aren't you a good little hostess." She teased.

I started down the hallway before she replied, "Black two sugars, thanks."

"Black like your soul?" I said as I looked at her over my shoulder.

A wide smile spread across her face, "Exactly." Backing into the bathroom, she shut the door and I heard the distinctive sound of the door not locking as I put on the kettle.

Pulling out a two bowls from out of the cabinet, one big one and one small glass one and placed them both on the bench. Grabbing some chocolate out of the cupboard and a bag of popcorn, I chucked them both on the bench. Moving across the kitchen I got the scissors and opened the chocolate and emptied its contents into the little glass bowl. In my experience when someone was sad, regardless of gender, chocolate is always the go to. Pouring both our drinks, I left them next to the food and resumed my position on the couch. Switching the tv back on I found a game of baseball was just finishing, it only had about seven minutes left, which was pretty good timing.

The game finished and the ads ran for a few minutes before I heard the shower go off. Turning the tv off I jumped over the couch and into the kitchen. Putting the popcorn in the microwave, I then checked the temperature of our drinks, which were almost ready for consumption. As I began walking back to the couch the bathroom door opened. Turning my head, I looked down the hallway to watch Cristina emerge from the bathroom with a towel, my towel the only thing on her body.

I had to stop thinking about her in that way, I used to but I did stop. Well I didn't really stop stop, but I pushed her away from my main thought streams anyway. As she plodded towards April's room, oblivious to me standing, unmoving, watching I marvelled at her. Tight soft curls sprung from her hair and hung down her back and over her shoulder, hiding some of her face. They were wet so they were darker than usual; it was darker than a night without stars. Suddenly she was out of my view.

'Shut up Jackson. You got over this.' I told myself. Plonking myself down on the couch I held my head in my hands, why did tonight of all nights have to be the one night that both April and Alex are on the nightshift, and will not be home for hours.

I jumped as the microwave started beeping at me, of course the popcorn. Once again getting up from the couch, I headed towards the kitchen, opened the microwave and was wowed at my immense skills. Pouring the perfectly cooked popcorn into the bowl, I turned towards the bin.

Cristina was standing in front of me wearing one of my shirts and a pair of April's trackpants. My shirt was too big on her so she had knotted it at the back and it was a lot tighter at the front.

Taking my stare to mean something different she hurriedly said, "April has pretty ugly clothes. Do you mind?"

Forgetting how to speak for a moment I stammered, "Uh, no, yeah, no, it's fine, totally a-okay."

"Okay…" she replied, still sceptical. "This mine?" she said pointing to her coffee.

Regaining some of my composure I replied, "Yeah. And I got some food out in case you were hungry."

A strange look passed over her face and she stared at me for a moment before answering, "Thanks. I'm just going to grab my clothes, thought I could warm them by the fire." Placing her cup on the bench, she headed off to grab them.

First, I took the food, placing it on the coffee table with the tv in front and the fireplace to the side and then I took our drinks. Lifting the lid of one of the stools, I pulled out a blanket just in case she was cold and placed that on the couch. Then I grabbed two wooden stools and placed them in front of the fire to hang her clothes off.

"Good thing you have a fire." Cristina remarked from behind me, making me jump. She held in her arms her towel, my towel with her wet clothes resting on it.

"Need a hand?" I quickly asked as I extended out my hand.

"Sure." She replied as she handed me her jeans. I draped those over the chair as she draped her top, scarf and then her matching lingerie, both blood red and lacy. Which did nothing to change my mind-set nor did it help me to push thoughts out of my mind. Gesturing to the couch, I walked behind her, picked up the blanket, and handed it to her as I sat down.

"Thanks." She said sincerely, as she picked up her coffee and rested it in her palm. I switched the television on again and handed her the remote, whatever I picked she would probably moan about and inevitably take over anyway, I was just skipping a few steps. She went through the channels and finally decided on an old thriller that only had twenty minutes to go.

Fifteen minutes later we had finished all of the food and both of our drinks and we sat watching, waiting for the next development. The black and white picture somehow makes the movie more daunting as suddenly a face popped out from underneath the bed and Cristina shrieks and grabs my arm. Tensing slightly I try to focus on the movie. A few minutes later, the chainsaw whirs again and she buries her face into my shoulder, strange that she picked this movie, knowing what it entailed.

As the credits roll she sits up again and switches the tv off. Almost as an afterthought, she turns to me and asks, "Is there anything you wish to watch?"

"No, it's all crap tonight anyway." I replied. She pulled off the blanket and placed it on the empty armchair next to her.

"Why did you want to find Alex?" I asked, trying to get her to say something, at least tell me why she came here in the first place.

"Mere was busy." She mumbled, staring down at her hands, a strange expression on her face,

"And Alex?" I inquired.

"He's my backup. But he's busy too I guess." She replied. They all seemed to have a pretty firm friendship, Mere and Cristina were inseparable but Alex had always been one of them and then April and I joined.

"So who was next on list then?" I asked, still wanting to know what happened.

"Alcohol." She said with a smirk, this time she looked me in the eye.

"Cristina?" I prompted, she needed to tell someone, obviously, why else would she be here.

"Owen cheated." She said flatly. My expression immediately changed but I forced myself to switch it back to neutral when I saw her face twitch slightly. "He cheated." She repeated, almost as if she didn't quite believe it.

"Are you okay?" I asked, now I knew why she looked so distraught in the hallway. This revelation just explained why she looked ready to cry and was desperate to talk to someone.

"He cheated. So I left him. I'm done." She said clearly, with an air of finality. She was done, she had decided. That was that. When Cristina made up her mind, it stayed that way.

"Cristina..." I began but she interrupted me.

"It's pretty hot in here." She mumbled underdoing the top button of my dress shirt she was wearing.

"Not really." I answered, watching her hands closely.

"Do you have it this hot to prepare you for hell?" she asked me, scanning me up and done, thinking. Her eyes unfocussed but not glazed over, just contemplating.

"Actually no, I put more kindling in to get it hot enough in here to try melt your heart." I quipped, and as I talked, I watched a grin cover Cristina's face. I smiled to match her smile, she looked happy, well as happy as she could be when her marriage was falling apart and she had just found out that the love of her life cheated on her.

"Didn't realise I still had one." She replied.

"It's there in a literal sense." I answered, and moved closer to her.

"So I don't have a heart in an emotional sense?" Cristina asked me in a feigned hurt tone as she turned, with her legs crossed in front of her to face me.

"It's there when it needs to be Cristina." I replied, turning my body to face hers and inching closer to her. I folded one leg in front of me, so that our knees touched and I let the other hang down the side of the couch.

"Like when?" She said as she leaned even closer, so close that I could feel her hot breath on my face.

"Like now." I answered as I placed one hand on her thigh and the other running through her hair.

"Now?" Leaning close to me, she whispered, not into my ear but almost into my mouth.

"Without a heart you wouldn't feel this." I whispered as I pulled her into me and kissed her. It wasn't a heat of the moment sort of kiss that looked like I was eating her face but it was a kiss of two years' worth of feelings, on my behalf anyway. Instead of pulling away, Cristina grabbed the side of my face and kissed back, using her tongue to gain entry just before I pulled away.

Pulling her head back only a touch, so it was mere centimetres from my face she whispered, "You do realise you kissed my lips not my emotions."

Smiling I moved my hand further up her leg and I bowed my head slightly and whispered into her ear, "It's not that hot in here."

Pulling my head back, I watched her face trying to decipher what I had said and trying not to focus too much on my rising hand. "Huh?" was all she managed to breath out.

"You're not red from the heat of the room that's all I'm saying." I remarked a wide smirk spreading across my face.

Her eyes flickered playfully and she inched her body closer to me and said in a shocked tone, "You saying, I'm hot for you?"

"If that's how you want to put it, then sure." I said as my hand slowly ascended her thigh.

Bringing her hands to the bottom of my shirt and pulling it over my head she threw it onto the ground and then hovered over my lips for a second. Looked me in the eye and whispered, "Kiss me again and find out."

Her hands rose to my hips and she pushed me backwards, so that I was lying on the couch. She climbed on top of me as I started unbuttoning the shirt, my shirt, that she was wearing and said, "Alright I will."

To be continued if more is requested(:


	2. Chapter 2 - Restraint

This picks up straight from where chapter one ended  
I hope that you enjoy reading this chapter and feedback is always appreciated (:

Her hands rose to my hips and she pushed me backwards, so that I was lying on the couch. She climbed on top of me as I started unbuttoning the shirt, my shirt, that she was wearing and said, "Alright I will."

My hands were through her hair, as I kissed her more urgently this time. Her tongue ran across my lip, forcing her way in in a matter of seconds. My hands moved from her hair as I lowered them down her back, then placing them on her hips as she moved her pelvis against mine. Using her hand she slowly unzipped my jeans and peeled them down, reaching inside my briefs.

As soon as she got contact skin on skin contact, my body was on fire. All of me wanting to continue to let her kiss me, to let me do things, to let her do things but one thing was preventing me. "Cristina." I muttered.

"Yes." She half moaned into my ear, while her hands moved to pull off her top.

"Stop." I half whispered, unsure why I was saying it, wishing that I wasn't.

Immediately she sat up and slid to the end of the coach, sitting silently as she did up the buttons I had just unbuttoned.

"Cristina." I said as I zipped and buttoned my jeans and then slid over to sit right up against her.

"Why?" She sulked. She turned to face me, her eyes searching mine.

Resting my hand on her thigh I muttered, "You're married."

Shifting her face closer to mine, she whispered, "Not anymore."

Pulling my face back, I said slowly and clearly, "You still are though. He cheated but he is still your husband."

"So what, this is my revenge sex?" she yelled, moving back to the edge of the seat and staring into the kitchen.

"Is it?" I asked, my eyes watching her, trying to assess any small changes, any tell-tale signs.

Titling her head, she looked at me and then moved back over this time grabbing my hands in hers. "God no, Jackson, this isn't that."

"Maybe not yet, but in the morning it will be." I muttered my eyes plastered to the ground. This is not how I planned to say that, I wanted to say things differently, to appear nonchalant but once again, I let my feelings get the better of me.

Letting go of my right hand she touched my chin, stroked it softly and moved my head up so that my gaze locked with hers. "This isn't a random impulse Jackson. I've wanted this, I want this. I want you." She whispered. Still unsure of my reaction she gave me a quick kiss and then stood up.

"Where are you going?" I almost yelled so many thoughts, so many emotions running through my head at the same time. Unsure what was real anymore and what was imagination.

"You were right." She answered as she walked towards the fire and picked her jeans off the stool, trying to gauge whether or not they were still wet.

"I, was, uh, right. About what exactly?" I stammered, nervous as hell about the next words that came out her mouth.

Turning her back to me she took my shirt off and started to get changed, she said, "I am still married. I need to go get myself a divorce."

"Oh." I breathed. As she pulled her top over her bra and started to take April's track pants off.

"I can feel your eyes on my ass Avery." She said with slight amusement in her voice, she didn't seem in anyway ticked off by this. She almost seemed pleased.

"Is that supposed to be a bad thing?" I answered back, a smile spreading across my face.

"Well now the fire ain't the hottest thing in the room, it's me." She replied as she turned, fully dressed to face me and chucked my shirt back. "My present to you, it got to touch what you didn't." she said with a smirk.

"That's mean." I said. Standing up I walked over to her as she wrapped her coat around her shoulders. "You don't have to go." I murmured.

Pausing for a moment, she scanned me up and down, bit her bottom lip and replied, "Yeah, I really do."

Wrapping my arms around her waist, I pulled her into a deep kiss. Then I whispered into her ear, "Something to remember me by."

As she tied the laces on her shoes up again she stared into space for a few minutes. I stood with my hands in my pocket, still and silent. Finally, she looked up at me, both shoes on her feet. Grabbing her bag, she opened the door and turned to face me. "This was fun we have to do it again." She said.

"Yeah." Was all I said in response.

"Well more or less this, hopefully more." She remarked leaning against the doorframe.

"Okay." I said, staring straight at her but thinking, not watching.

"Jackson?" she asked, her eyes pleading for some response, affirmation perhaps.

"Yes." I replied bringing my full attention to her voice, to her standing my doorway.

"How did you know?" she asked me, a smile across her face. I was right, she was wrong. This was a seldom occurrence for her. I would love to relish the moment, but I had absolutely no clue as to what she was referring to.

"I just did." I answered, trying to remain vague.

"You were, uh, right." She almost whispered the last word.

Laughing I answered smugly, "I usually tend to be. You will have to get used to that."

"I will. Goodbye Jackson." She said as she stepped outside into the corridor, shutting the door behind her.

I stood still, listening to her footsteps as they went down the hall. I heard the stairwell door swing open and then shut behind her and the pitter pat of her going down the stairs. Only then did I dare to move, to breath and to speak, "Goodbye Cristina." I said to my empty apartment.

Running over to the window that looked out onto the street, I pulled the curtain back slightly and rubbed my hand against the window, trying to see out of it. I stood there, hunched over the window, waiting for her to come out of the front door. I was so focussed on the present job at hand I didn't hear anything else.

"What are you doing?" a voice startled me from behind.

Dropping the curtain, I jumped and looked behind me.

"A little bit creepy don't you think?" Cristina asked her arms wrapping around my waist.

"I didn't hear the door." I pondered aloud, bringing my hand up to push a strand of hair, which had fallen onto her face, behind her ear.

"That is because I was stealth." She said with a cheeky grin spreading across her face.

"Of course you were. The ultimate ninja." I teased, my fingers absentmindedly playing with her hair. My whole body aching was for more, desperate to kiss her, to touch her, to do anything and everything.

"Jackson." She whispered as she leant her head against my chest. I moved my hand and pulled her in for a hug. I knew she hated them, but it was instinct. I tightly wrapped my arms around her, resting my chin on the top of her head.

"Yes." I muttered. I closed my eyes and just focussed on breathing in and out. Cristina's body was so relaxed, I had expected her to be slightly tense, as usually she hated this. But then again this evening wasn't exactly normal, in most respects.

"I couldn't let this be a late night thing, where I was sad and you know." She said, loosening her grip, indicating she wished to pull back.

Moving my arms, I let them lay beside my body, limp as I quickly constructed a reply, something that didn't purely consist of uhm. After a few seconds I decided on, "So what is this then." I asked, timidly, almost not wanting an answer, unless it was a very specific one.

"More than a late night hook-up." She started then grabbed my hands and wrapping my arms around her waist and then she continued, "This is more than that. I don't quite know what though."

Listening only to her words and not the thoughts in my head I bent down and kissed her lightly on the cheek. "You need to go." I muttered, then repeated it more loudly, "You have to go." As I let go of her and took a step back.

Her face drew a blank, so while shoving my hands in my pockets I explained, "If you stay much longer, I should not be held accountable for my actions. 20 more seconds in my apartment and your clothes are coming off."

Biting her lip involuntarily, she turned and walked to the door, once again hovering in the doorway. "See you tomorrow Jackson." She said as she stepped into the hallway. Then stopped. Almost as an afterthought, she turned to face me and remarked, "Probably best this stays between us for now."

Hesitating for a second, I nodded and then blurted out an, "Ok."

Shutting the door behind herself, I once again heard her make her way to the stairwell and then the sound of the door and then I heard her descending the stairs. Thinking for a moment, I was deciding whether or not I should go to the window. I thought only for a brief moment as I could come up with no counter-argument.

Reaching the window I began lifting the curtain and then I pushed my face against the glass, trying to get a good view of the street below. In the dark, I saw someone walk out of the building. I saw the top of her head and her dark coat wrapped around her, a speck of white protruding from the top of it. Looking up at me, she blew me a kiss, and a wide smile spread across Cristina's face and a matching one forming on mine. This was not good; this was not good at all.

Letting the curtain fall I grabbed my shirt off the ground, not the one Cristina wore but the one that she ripped off me. After pulling it over my head, I grabbed the empty cups and bowls, dumped them in the sink and headed back into the lounge.

Plonking myself down on the couch, I put my feet up on the coffee table and leant backwards, arms crossed. They say that life changes, in an instant that it turns on a dime. Tonight is the perfect embodiment of this. Who would think 2 years after I kissed her at a party that this would happen. A lot had happened in those two years. So much has changed. People have changed, people have died, people have left, and people have arrived. So much had changed but yet my feelings sure as hell hadn't. They had remained the same, stationary, after all this time. I forgot how much I wanted this, wanted her.

But there is a massive difference in saying that you will leave your husband, that you will divorce him and actually doing it. This is Cristina though, if she says it than it will happen. She over analyses most things, so she must have been pretty firm in her decision to state it out loud and then make out with me on a couch, forcing my to stop things progressing while she was still married. But then perhaps I was the exception to the rule, maybe tonight was different for her than all others. Maybe she would come to regret all this when the sun rose in the morning.

I was friends with Owen, well not exactly friends, but he was my boss. He was the chief and he could make life very painful for me if he found out any of this. I hope that Cristina doesn't mention it, odds on she won't, she has never been one to share personal details. But then this is her husband, and there is no doubt about whether she will or won't tell Meredith, she tells her everything. She will know.

Tonight was the most open I had ever seen Cristina. Usually she wouldn't tell me anything of the sort, let alone almost cry in front of me. People called her a robot, but she wasn't, she isn't. She cares, she feels, she just finds it easier to cut people off, to seem cold and distance as then it can trick others into thinking that she was made that way. She is not a robot, nor is she cold or distance. Or at least that is what I think anyway, I could be wrong. But like I said, I rarely am.

People are like seasons, and she is most definitely an autumn, windy and cold at times but still beautiful.

Hope that you enjoyed this chapter(: Please review.


	3. Chapter 3 - Long Time No See

Chapter Three:  
I hope that you like it(:  
Please let me know what you think, I love feedback!

It had been three days since that night, since Tuesday night. In those three days very little changed in my life. It was the same as it always was, on the outside at least. Although I think that the last three days has not been smooth sailing for Cristina, but I haven't properly talked to her in three days so I'm entirely sure. The nurses have been abuzz with the news of Dr Yang and Dr Hunt hostilities in the OR over the last three days. Apparently it has been tense between them for a few weeks, well much longer than that, overly awkward of late, and that was before she came crying to my front door. These problems began long ago and with each passing day, it just got worse and worse, especially after she discovered he cheated on her. It reached its peak this afternoon when Cristina kicked him out of her OR for doubting her surgical decision, which sent her over the edge. Teddy still hates Owen, so she backed Cristina up without a second of hesitation.

I would feel sorry for Owen, I think, I would never have taken his side but I would have felt sympathy for him, he was alone. But then again he cheated on Cristina so why should anyone really care, he put himself in that position. Although that's just my opinion. Which may be ever so slightly bias considering what happened three days ago, on Tuesday, its Friday now.

On Wednesday by lunch time rumours began to fly, first from the nurses and then of course from the interns, but nobody really listened to them. The rumours have been circulating for a while, about Cristina and Owen but on Wednesday two things changed. My interest in the rumours and also Cristina's attitude towards Owen. As usual the interns were speculating a million different theories all of which that I have heard are far off the mark. Not one single rumour that has passed through my ears has even breached the remote possibility of the truth. That he cheated.

I haven't talked to her since Tuesday night, which was actually kind of Wednesday morning by the time she left. We haven't been avoiding each other, well at least I haven't. For the past three days, I have been stuck in the burn unit, practically living there, where Cristina a cardio god in training would have no reason to be.

On the rare opportunity I actually left the burn unit and swing by the cafeteria she was never there. According to the OR board she was in surgery after surgery almost all of Wednesday, Thursday and today. Normally the Chief would check and make sure that they were still functioning properly, but with that personal agenda, it just wasn't an option. Him bringing it up the first time got him asked politely but bluntly to leave, only hours before he was kicked out of another surgery. He was treading on eggshells on any cardio case now. But he had dug his own hole where Cristina was concerned.

On Wednesday when I made it to the cafeteria for afternoon tea, I found Meredith and April sitting there deep in discussion, but nothing serious, well it was, but nothing about Cristina. Sitting down I said hello and listened to April rattling on about boards for a few minutes before Alex interrupted. He sounded absolutely exhausted when he reached us, he tried to whisper to Mere but with his lack of oxygen he just sounded hoarse but clear, "Its Cristina, you have to go. Now. Go." A shocked and distressed look on Mere's face as she rushed off told me that she didn't know yet and the look on Alex's face told me that he knew some, but just the tip of the iceberg. Judging by April's expression, she had no clue. Then I left.

On Friday lunchtime when I finally re-emerged from the burn unit and made my way to the cafeteria at a respectable hour I saw Alex and Mere huddled over whispering to each other desperately, both looking worried and distraught. Even from 10 metres away, I could tell it wasn't about the boards.

Standing in the middle of the cafeteria, I wasn't really sure if I should go over to them or to head back. Luckily I decided to join them, this is how that went:

_"Hey, whats up?" I asked as I sat down sandwich in one hand, a coffee in the other._

_"Hey Jackson." Mere breathed, unsure of how to answer._

_"Just tell him. Half the hospital knows already Mere." Alex commanded. _

_Darting her eyes side to side, checking around her she leant towards me and whispered, "How much do you know?"_

_Exchanging a look with Alex, I forced a confused expression on my face and answered, "About what?"_

_Checking behind her shoulder she whispered, "About Owen cheating on Cristina."_

_"What?" I exclaimed, causing people from a few tables near us to turn and look. Ignoring them I continued my feigned shock, this time in a quieter tone, "When?"_

Mere went on and updated me and Alex also as he obviously didn't know bits of the puzzle. She informed us both that Cristina had barely talked to him since Tuesday, only at work and only about work. She also said that she had filed for divorce. Which made Alex comment, "Blimey that was fast." To which Mere said, "It has been coming for a long time. And after what he did, it was due." She never elaborated on that, as it was obviously the cheating, well as far as I knew. I did notice how she left details out, I only noticed as I knew some things already she didn't say. Also she reported facts but never feelings. She either didn't know herself or just didn't want to share it with us, seeing Cristina was her person I assumed it was the latter.

She never once hinted that she knew anything about Tuesday night between Cristina and I. Even when Alex got paged to the pit she never mentioned anything, which made me assume that she simply didn't know. But then again maybe she didn't want me to know that she knew. Oh I don't know. Everything was so complicated. Why did it have to be so complicated? I had my boards coming up now was not the time for drama, of any sort.

All of these thoughts passed through my head as I drove to Mere's house, she had called Alex, April and me over. Early, it was very early Saturday morning, and after a night shift at the hospital, I just wanted to crash. I had been up for hours and I was driving straight to Mere's house from work. But she sounded urgent, I do have some time.

As the sun rose behind me, I reached her driveway and parked outside. Yawning I pulled my bag off the passenger seat, shut the door and locked the car. Making my way up the drive I saw Alex's car parked there, Mere's was probably in the garage. I slung my bag over my shoulder as I walked up the steps. Ignoring the bell, I opened the door, stepping inside and yelled, "Hello?"

"Jackson, we're right here." April replied. I turned to my left and found Alex and April sitting on the couch staring up at Meredith.

"What is this?" I asked, stepping forward looking at the sheet behind her and the felt tips in her hands.

"Take a seat." Mere replied, a wide smile on her face. She looked much too enthusiastic at this time in the morning, Alex looked barely conscious and April was her usual chipper morning self, but Mere was not a morning person. At least she wasn't when I lived here, which wasn't too long ago.

Mere began talking as we all yawned, she was rattling on about some Grey Method and telling us that we were to stay here and study, that none of us were going to fail our boards. There was a knock on the door and we all turned as Mere went to get it. We could hear muffled voices as we sat still waiting, for the new comer to reveal himself or herself.

"So let's get started." Mere said as she came into view, Cristina standing next to her with a blank expression on her face and a pen in her hand.

We studied together for about 2 hours, quizzing each other, learning, teaching each other. It was great, Mere was right, we weren't going to fail. Together we could do this. This stupid Grey Method was going to make us pass the boards. The sun was still rising, and most of the world was asleep when Mere and April pagers beeped.

"Keep studying. Or grab some stuff to bring back. Ok?" Mere instructed us as she picked up her coat, grabbed her car keys out of the bowl and headed outside. Opening the front door I could hear her sigh, "Alex, move you damn car." She yelled.

"I should probably get to work, see you two later." Alex said to Cristina and I, as he stood up, grabbed his bag and with heavy footsteps followed Mere and April outside slamming the door on his way out.

We were alone. Just the two of us, in this big empty house, ignoring that fact entirely we kept studying for another few hours before my eyes started to shut and Cristina's stomach rumbled.

"You need to eat." I said resting my head on the table with my eyes closed. My head was full of medical crap, that I know I would need but I could feel it tumbling out of my ear, with each second I lost more.

"You need to sleep." She replied. We needed to talk, I think. About what happened, about what might happen. What will change between us, if anything will change. Or was she just ignoring me, to try and give me a message, that I was just too thick to get.

BANG.

My eyes opened immediately, my head swiftly raised off the table. A book sat in front of me and a laughing Cristina stood only an arm distance away from me.

"Wow, you are hilarious." I remarked, slowly standing up and scanning the room to find my bag.

"Yeah I… what are you looking for?" She asked me as I stumbled around the lounge. Bending down I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder once again.

"I need to get stuff. From home." I muttered, pulling my shoes onto my feet. Yanking the keys out of my front pocket and took a step towards the door.

Taking a step towards me, she grabbed my keys out of my open palm. "You can't drive. You are exhausted."

"I am…" I started but when I saw the expression on her face I knew better than to argue. "Fine, sure. You can drive. Don't you have your own car?"

Chucking me back my keys, I stretched to catch them, which warranted an impressed look on Cristina's face as she walked out of the house and stood expectantly by the door. "Well hurry up." She said.

"What are you waiting for?" I asked her as I wandered onto the porch. Were we going to talk about it? Or pretend nothing happened? I know which one I wanted, but it was impossible to read Cristina Yang, her thoughts were her own and they would stay that way as long as she wanted them to.

"To lock the house. Were you raised by wolves?" she remarked as she stepped back inside switched the alarm on, stepped out and locked the door behind her.

We walked in silence down the drive, I thought of saying something when we passed the next tree but by the time we did I lost my confidence. Why was this such a big deal? She stopped in front of her car, I walked round to the passenger seat and waited expectantly. She searched through her handbag for a minute then pulled out her car keys.

"Get in." she said as she unlocked the doors. She sat down, chucked her handbag on the backseat and placed her key in the ignition. Leaning over I placed my bag on top of hers. "Do you mind if we stop off at my apartment on the way?" she asked as she pulled away from Mere's house.

"The firehouse?" I asked, staring out the window. What did all of this mean?

"Yeah that's it." She answered. The radio was off. I contemplated turning it on but then that gave less chance of the silence pressuring either one of us to talk. We sat in silence for about 3 minutes before she broke, although I opened my mouth the same time she did. Luckily she was focused on the road, as the driver should be so she didn't even notice.

"I asked for a divorce." She said flatly, eyes on the road she continued, "I filed for one. Signing the papers tomorrow."

I took a silent deep breath and gathered my thoughts before I responded, "That was fast."

"I called her Wednesday lunchtime. I thought calling her at the butt crack of dawn wouldn't be the best way to start off with a lawyer, considering she would be fast asleep, not the smartest person to piss off." She replied, still no change in body movement.

Instead of out the windows my eyes rested on her the entire time she spoke, her voice remained constant but maybe she would give some tell in her body language or something

"Oh." I breathed onto the window in front of me. Looking down I stared down at my hands, which I was clasping together, trying to maintain some level headedness, I tried to keep my attention on my hands, so I could push other thoughts out of my head. I was failing, miserably. Tearing my gaze away from my hands, it rested on Cristina.

"I wanted to get it done quickly." Cristina said, eyes on the road, unflinching, no sign of expression on her face.

"Oh." I breathed, again. I moved my head, one again staring out the window. Building after building went by, men and woman in suits walking quickly, striding with purpose; ordinary people in ordinary clothes wandering aimlessly, chatting, drinking and heading in and out of shops with numerous shopping bags in tow.

The car slowed down, the indicator began clicking and we slowly went to a halt. I turned to face her as she parked just in front of the firehouse. "Do you want me to.." I began but stopped as she shook her head ever so slightly.

"No. I'll just be a few minutes." She replied. Pulling her keys out of the ignition, she opened the door and climbed out. I watched her walk towards the door and I saw her pause. She had her key in the lock, her hand hovering over the handle. She shook her head again, reached her hand down and opened the door. As she shook her head hair fell from her messy bun and lay across her back. I loved her hair, it was beautiful and wild just like she was. There was so much that I loved about her. Don't get me wrong I didn't love her. Yet anyway.

Alone in the car I sat waiting as she stepped into the firehouse, shutting the door behind her. _Shut up_. I told myself, _You should be focussed on your boards._ To be perfectly honest I was, but not solely on my boards also on Cristina. For her it must be a difficult time, a huge understatement I know. We are all supposed to be studying for the most important exams in our entire medical careers, our futures are hanging in the balance and she is getting a divorce. Not the most ideal time, if there is any, for a marriage to fall apart.

Hope that you enjoyed it :D  
Review please!


	4. Chapter 4 - Suffocation

Sorry that I haven't updated in a while, but hopefully this will sort of make up for it and I will post my next chapter early December if not before!

Hope that you enjoy this chapter :)  
This chapter is a little different as it not from Jackson's point of view but Cristina's!  
I love to getting feedback so please let me know what you think :)

**Cristina's POV:**

I shut the door behind me, trying to seem as normal as possible where Jackson could see me. I heard the door click shut and the key in my hand, the metal felt odd against my skin, I dropped it on the floor and stammered backwards. Hitting my back against the door, I slid downwards, the air in the room was so hot, it felt so wrong almost as if it was strangling me. My hair was done up too tightly, I frantically ripped it out, letting it fall around me, framing my face. Reaching the floor, I rested my head on my knees.

Why was this happening?I felt sick. Looking around me, at our house, at our home, the life we had built together. Downstairs there was barely any sign of us, of the little things we bought to make this place home. The things we needed, we wanted, things that we just had to have. I was nauseous just looking at the shoe rack, our shoes side by side. I just dumped mine on the floor when I came home, but Owen would put them away when he came home. Here they were lying on the floor where we had left them, they had been there for weeks.

Why did it always end like this. Me feeling like I was suffocating, last time I was standing eyebrowless in a wedding dress with a choker necklace suffocating me, this time I was knocked down by a bloody shoe rack. I said that I wouldn't lose bits of myself again, that I wouldn't do what I didn't want to do, Burke took pieces of me, Owen took pieces of me. Would I ever be able to get those pieces back?

It took me so long to recover after the whole Burke disaster and here I was again. I had changed, and not entirely for the better I might add. Owen wanted to get married, I was wreck and I agreed. I didn't mind though. But then he wanted a baby, I didn't, I don't. You can't have half a baby. Acid shot up my throat as that memory returned. All that fighting, the yelling, the screaming. What came next was worse, the silence. The unbearable silence. Silence everywhere I looked. The silence that turned my home into a prison. Why did this keep happening to me?

Jesus Christ! There was a knock on the door behind and I jumped, hitting my head on the door handle. "Shit!" I exclaimed, rubbing my head with my hand. "Oh crap." I muttered. Now whoever was on the other side of that door would know I was here. Taking a deep breath, I lowered my hand and stood up. I swung open the door, with a small sad smile on my face, it was the best I could do.

"Cristina" Jackson said taking a step towards me. Without hesitation he pulled me into a hug. I stood still for a moment, paused, forgetting the normal response. His arms that were wrapped around me were the only thing keeping me from falling to the ground. Without a response, he started to pull back, realising that this may not have been the best idea, "Sorry." He muttered, looking embarrassed.

"Don't stop." I said quickly, wrapping my arms around him. I rested my head against his chest and felt a wave of relaxation pass over me, I wasn't happy, but I felt comforted. Something that only Mere could do, well Owen used to be able to as well, but I couldn't think about that. After about a minute, I let go and pulled back slightly, getting my hint he unwrapped his arms from around me and took a step back.

"Do you want to come in?" I asked, stepping backwards, into my uh, ex-home. Giving no reply, he followed after me, shutting the door behind himself. I saw him scan around the well entranceway I guess you could call it, his eyes taking note of everything. Leading the way, I slowly walked up the stairs not wanting to reach the top, but not wanting to stop.

I thought I felt sick before, but now I felt like the world was spinning. Like someone had cut out large sections of my bowel and other various body parts. This was our home, our happy place, our retreat. So many memories were formed here, some horrific ones but mainly good ones. The horrible memories were louder and clearer than the good ones, but wasn't that always the way?

"Are you okay?" Jackson asked, standing next to me on the top step. He was watching me with a concerned look. He looked ready, prepared for something, like catching me when I fell down these stairs.

Saying nothing, I nodded slowly, I couldn't lie right now, words had failed me. Striding forward I headed to the closest to get my bags so that I could pack and leave this hell hole. But something stopped me, out of the corner of my eye, I could see something. I turned abruptly, staring at the empty place. There was nothing I could see, and then I realised it wasn't an object but a memory that had caught my attention.

Walking over, I squatted down, and stared at the floor, running my fingers along it, I couldn't feel anything. He must have cleaned it up. Dropping onto my stomach, I looked underneath the cabinet, sticking my hand underneath, I pulled out a small shard of glass. All that was left I the glass I was holding when he told me. Lucky I dropped it. Otherwise I think I might have thrown it at him, lucky for him at least.

Standing up, I turned to see Jackson standing behind me with a questioning look on his face, he didn't want to pry but it was obvious he wanted to know. I opened my mouth to speak but behind him I could see the coffee table, the couch, the living room, the kitchen. Memories came flooding back to me, new ones, old ones, clear ones, foggy ones, distant ones that I had forgotten, suppressed ones I never wanted to ever see again. I couldn't take it anymore.

These memories were suffocating me. I had to get out. Dropping the shard of glass, I ran past Jackson and down the stairs. I could hear his footsteps behind me, his voice calling my name, but I just couldn't take it in here anylonger. Leaning down, I picked my key off the ground as I ran out the front door.

I was starving and tired and a number of other things, but none of that was important now. Now I just had to get out of here, get as far away from here as physically possible. I ran towards my car, but turned left, my feet pounding against the pavement. My breathing was heaving, my coat mademe hot and these shoes burned my feet, but still I ran. I ran past buildings, past people.

Through intersections, down alleyways; on the pavement, on the road and then on grass. I could hear Jackson beside me, his breathing was light and easy, this was no stress to him. I pushed harder, not to escape him, but to move faster. Blood was pumping through my body, my head was thumping and I felt like me legs were going to collapse underneath me. I knew that if I stopped, I would collapse to the ground.

"Cristina, stop." Jackson said again, this time his voice was clear, no longer drowned out by the screaming in my head. I wasn't ready to stop and I certainly wasn't going to do what he told me to do.

I could tell that he was concerned, his tone was full of worry, but I needed a few more minutes. I had to keep pushing myself, I was afraid to stop. Turning left, I picked up my pace again, my heart was beating faster than it had ever done before, my legs burned, each step more painful, but my brain had no desire to stop. My legs screamed, they pleaded with me, begging me to slow down, to sit down.

Answering their cries I stopped. I stood still for a second, before collapsing onto the ground. Feeling the heat all around me, I ripped off my jacket and lay on my back looking up at the clouds that thankfully covered the sun.

"What was that all about?" Jackson asked, dropping down beside me, placing his jacket on top of mine.

"I had to get out." I replied, my eyes closed. I kicked my shoes off my feet and sprawled out across the grass. My heart was still beating out of control, my legs still in pain but my head had finally shut up.

"Yeah, you did that about 3 miles ago." He lowered himself down, put his hands behind his head and lay down beside me. I turned my head back to the sky and shut my eyes again. Not knowing how to reply to that I kept silent, waiting for him to continue. He said nothing for the next few minutes, and I felt partially obliged to break the silence.

"I'm sorry." I said sitting up, and drawing my legs towards me. They were still sore, and they would stiff in the morning, but they felt comfortable with my arms draped around them.

"For what? I enjoy brisk jogging, especially in jeans." He replied, his eyes staring at the clouds above us.

"I just couldn't take it in there." I didn't quite know why I was telling him this, but I needed to. It wasn't that I had to just get it out, but I wanted to tell him. I needed to tell him.

He titled his head in my direction, still looking mildly concerned and also worried. The most beautiful, soft expression was on his face and all I wanted to do was kiss him, but I knew I had to talk not do.

"I was…" I gestured to my throat, "suffocating in there." I didn't want to tell him about the memories, but part of my insisted so I just let it all flow out my mouth. "I felt sick. There was our stuff all around me, the stuff we brought together, the stuff we used. But it was more than that, it wasn't just things, but memories. Happy ones were fading, drowned up by yelling and crying and silence. There was so much silence. It was in my head, in my body." I was pulling at my top as I spoke, feeling like the trees were closing in on me. I shut my eyes, tight together, trying to stop this from happening again, I couldn't run again, I needed to calm down.

"Just breathe." I opened my eyes, to find Jackson's arms resting on my shoulders. His beautiful eyes were staring into mine, not a smile on his face, just a sad look of concern that made my insides melt and meant that it took every piece of me not to kiss him.

I was about to protest, or talk or do something, but I thought better of it. I moved my eyes from his and looked down at his chest. I began to breathe at the same time as him. I watched his chest rise and fall, rise and fall. Content with my breathing, I looked up at him again and smiled, this time a genuine smile.

"Thanks." I said, a smile touched his face and he lowered his arms and stood up. Extending his hand out to me, I linked hands with him and he pulled me up. He passed me my jacket, but our hands stayed together. I had no desire to let go and obviously neither did he.

"Please tell me you know where we are." He said after a few minutes of silent wandering, we had now reached the gate and were hopefully heading back to my car.

"Well sort of." I replied, racking my brain for memories of me running, so that I could reverse the journey and get us back to my car.

"Great." He smiled and squeezed my hand. I found that reassuring, although I don't think it was meant to be. Even if we were lost it wouldn't matter. And I did have a faint idea of where we were, but part of me wanted to get lost on purpose so that we could wander around for hours hand and hand, talking, laughing.

Forgetting about the world, the boards and the hospital. Crap, the hospital. My shift was going to start in… I pulled my phone out of my pocket with my free hand, about 3 hours, and I still had stuff to do.

"Come on, this way I think." I said tugging at his hand, making him walk faster.

"Got somewhere you need to be Yang?" he asked, striding along next to me, his hand still firmly holding mine.

Glancing over at him I smiled, "Nowhere else I'd rather be." A matching smile covered his face, making his green eyes sparkle, if it was even possible he looked even more gorgeous than before. "But I do have places I have to be." I added.

"You and I both." He replied, letting go of my hand. For a second I was shocked, until he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me towards him. I wrapped my arm around his back and hugged him back. He planted a kiss on the top of my hair and I looked up at him, "I've missed you." He whispered.

"I missed you too."

Please review!  
And also check out my other Crackson fanfic :)

(Sorry for massive wait!)


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